E's Birth - Part Two

Originally written on October 9, 2014. 

Our E boy is 2 weeks old today, so I think it's definitely time to finish up his birth story. Is it just me or is it long?! I have been working on it for over a week. Everything seems to be moving in slow motion...

They took me back to the L&D room, I changed into a hospital gown, and they hooked me up to the monitors. Not much else happened before Henry arrived. It seemed to me like he got there really fast considering it was late in the afternoon. I was surprised and thankful he arrived so quickly. He caught me up on Elle's whereabouts; we were taking dinner to some of our friends that night and they offered to keep Elle until Henry's mom could come from San Antonio. She also arrived much quicker than I expected. Tender mercies.

The nurse did all of the fun stuff they do to get you set up at the hospital: insert an IV (took 2 tries because my first vein blew), ask a bunch of medical hx questions, initial your life away, etc. Shortly after 6 PM, Dr. Loar came in and introduced herself while we were midway through this process. She seemed eager to get the show on the road. She asked me if I had a birth plan. Ha! I'd jotted down some wishes in my planner minutes before: primarily, I wanted to do it without an epidural, and I wanted to let the cord finish pulsing before clamping. 

At 6:25 she did an internal check and broke my water. I couldn't believe it when she said I was 8 cm dilated and 100% effaced! I'd progressed 3 cm since my doctor's appointment 3 hrs earlier! I asked Dr. Loar about the baby's station, and she told me he was super low. She said I should be fine without the epidural and could probably push the baby out in "two pushes" (wrong, but that's ok).

There was lots and lots of amniotic fluid. Every time I'd shift in the bed, more would gush out. I stayed on the bed for a little while without much else happening. In fact, the nurse was still rushing to complete the intake paperwork after my water was broken, and I was still comfortably answering her litany of questions. But almost as soon as she left the room to gather whatever instruments they round up for delivery, my contractions got REAL. They were INTENSE, but also shorter than I remember them being when I was on pitocin with Elle. 30-40 secs in duration with a rest in between. I was so, so grateful they weren't any longer.

So at this point laboring becomes a blur. Details get fuzzy when you feel like your bottom is going to fall out. But... I labored in the bathroom. I labored in a chair. I labored with a Breathe Right strip strapped to my face because I went into this party congested. I labored with a ladybug massager vibrating on my lower back and Henry at my side. He did a good job again of helping me keep my breathing as steady and as calm as it could be given the circumstances.

I also had "Hypnosis for Birth-Empowering Yourself" blasting in my earbuds. This is something I wanted to try this go round, and my friend gave me the CD at my baby shower. Let me tell you, I was NOT hypnotized during his birth, but the woman on the CD had a soothing voice and maybe the affirmations helped me stay somewhat calm? I used the affirmations of "surrender," "once a contraction is over it'll never come again," "every contraction brings me closer to meeting my baby," and "my body is doing the work it needs to do." More power to you if this really, really works for you, but I'm not 100% sold. 

One other new thing I tried this labor was having Henry sway my thighs from side to side during the contraction. It's also difficult to say if this was super helpful, but I think in the beginning it felt like a way to counteract the pressure.

Around 7:50 I climbed up on the bed between contractions because I felt like I might be transitioning (read: I was having crazy painful contractions and starting to feel like I couldn't take many more). Basically, I wanted the doctor or nurse to check me and tell me I was ready to push. Dr. Loar came in with surprising speed and said I was 9 3/4 with the slightest lip on the cervix. She then said words that killed me: "You'll probably be ready to push in 15-20 minutes." Nooo! I did not want to endure those contractions for another 15-20 minutes; I wanted a way to fight back right then! 

Luckily for me, it didn't take that long. Ten minutes later I had the urge to push, and it was STRONG. I don't remember feeling that way with Elle. With her birth, I just got to the transition stage where I felt like maybe I really, really needed that epidural after all, and then the nurse told me I was fully dilated and could push. This time they told me I could push with the contraction or between contractions if I felt the urge. 

Dr. Loar returned. She told me to take a deep breath and hold it in while I pushed. It took a couple tries because holy pain! But eventually I calmed down enough to coordinate my breathing and my pushing. Within 20 minutes, what felt like several rings of fire, an estimated 8-10 pushes (really I have no idea how many times I pushed because I just did what needed to be done to get.him.OUT), and screeching from me, our little E was born at 8:18 pm. He weighed 7 lbs 7 oz, a full pound and 3 oz more than his sister. 

E didn't cry right away. He also had an EKG on our last day in the hospital because his resting heart rate was low. I'd say he's a pretty mellow little guy. Thankfully he has checked out to be healthy in every way. It just takes a little effort to get a rise out of him. ;) 

After they got some good cries out of him, I was able to hold him skin-to-skin and breastfeed him. It wasn't exactly a butterflies and rainbows bonding moment for me because...stitches (ouch). After that was done though, then the real bonding could begin. My first thoughts about E were that he looked like Elle did at a week old but with no eyelashes or eyebrows! (Upon later inspection, they're just very blonde. He does have hair.) and his nose might be bigger. He is a handsome little guy with the softest skin. I forgot how deliciously soft baby skin is. I could rub his head all day, but I probably shouldn't. 

Henry cut the cord this time. We didn't talk about if he'd do it or not, but he said he felt pressured by the hospital staff. I have no recollection of that whatsoever. Must've been distracted...it probably didn't help that I felt super shaky after the delivery. I felt so shaky for so long after the delivery that I was worried something was wrong, but no one seemed concerned. Adrenaline I guess? 

Right after E was born, I wrote, "I forgot how crazy that whole 'birth without pain meds' thing is. Wow, our bodies are amazing. I also can't believe I have a SON! And he's on the outside now. Phew! Not gonna lie, I was pretty uncomfortable the last week or two. Glad the pregnancy is done." 

And just like that, our lives are changed forever. We love our little boy so much.

Car Activities for a One-Year Old

(Alternately titled: How to Not Go Completely Insane on a Twelve Hour Roadtrip with a Baby)

My first piece of advice would be to leave close to bedtime and drive through the night.

That wasn't an option with this trip, and even though my baby took several good naps (more than she would at home), being in the car alllll day was (surprise!) not all that fun.

A few days before we left I decided I'd get started on the busy box I picked for the Pinterest challenge, but then I quickly realized that I didn't have the time or materials to make most of the things on that particular list before our trip... I did have pipe cleaners and a puffs container though, so I put them together for "Pipe Cleaners in a Bottle."

If Elle could give an award for best roadtrip "toy" I'm sure she'd pick the pipe cleaners, hands down. She liked pulling them out, putting them back in, and bending them. She loved handing them to me so that I could hang them off of my glasses/nose/ears and would giggle up a storm while grabbing them back.

So I give an A+ to "Pipe Cleaners in a Bottle." Cheap, very low effort, virtually indestructible, and my brother's cats thoroughly enjoyed batting them around. The only cons I can think of are the sharp ends (I twisted those over and didn't have any problems), and once we took them out of the car, our pipe cleaners seemed to spread to every corner of the house.

I also made a texture book to bring along in the car. This requires considerably more effort than "Pipe Cleaners in a Bottle," but if you have some supplies on hand it's not difficult to throw together.


Step 1. Gather up materials with different textures.

I already had all of these things at home, but the possibilities are endless as far as what you put on the pages.


Step 2. Cut pages out of old cereal/snack boxes.

I used my Cricut machine to get the scalloped edges and then glued scrapbook paper on the fronts.

Step 3. Glue your objects on to the pages. Use the strongest glue possible if you have a destructo baby like mine.

Step 4. Hole punch the top of the pages.

Step 5. Tie together with string. Voila!

You may have guessed from the note in Step 3 that my baby girl set out to destroy this texture book. She made quick work of ripping off the fuzzy pompoms, the bubble wrap, and even a couple of the shiny hearts. I hot glued everything except for the foam stickers, and the only page that is still completely intact is the one with the fabric flowers. Maybe superglue would've been better. At the time, I was just happy that it held her interest for more than 5 minutes. 

Other tried and true activities:

*Stuffed animals

*Blocks

*Books

*Food, glorious food
*My wallet
*And when things got a little ugly that last hour and she couldn't be consoled, I gave her my glasses...even though I can't see without them. She went from screaming to asleep within a few minute's time. Worth it. ;)

The Arrival of Our Little Love

In just a few days my baby girl will turn ONE. I cannot even wrap my brain around how fast this last year went by, but I guess that's what happens when you have kids. At least that's what people tell me.

Since tomorrow is Valentine's Day and we're rapidly approaching the momentous first birthday, I thought I'd share the story of her birth, which I wrote around a week postpartum.

Be warned: labor and delivery was the most intensely natural thing I have ever done, and I didn't spare any details. If you get squeamish at the mention of bodily fluids, you may not want to read. I'm in favor of keeping it real.

Now, let's continue.

It all started with my 39 week OB appointment on Wednesday the 15th. I went in that morning by myself, and Dr. Meritt did an internal exam. I was 7 cm dilated that morning, but I still wasn't having any labor signs. I was continuing to lose quite a bit of my mucous plug, but that'd been happening for weeks. I wasn't having contractions nor had my water broken, though I was so worried it might happen at any moment and I wouldn't be ready! Dr. Meritt said her comfort level with me walking around so dilated was quickly diminishing. She asked if I'd be willing to be induced later that afternoon or on Thursday. I asked if we could wait until Friday (I don't really know what difference I thought another day would make, except maybe I thought I'd be able to get my free continuing education hours at work that day??). She said she wouldn't be at the hospital on Friday, so I consented to inducing on Thursday morning.

I wrote this email to Cristy after my appointment:

Hi Cristy,

I had a doctor's appointment this morning and I'm 7 cm now...my doctor wants to induce me tomorrow morning! She said she's concerned about an ascending infection since so much of my amniotic sac is exposed, so I'm going to do it. I'm nervous...but it's good to know this is my last day at work so that I can tie up loose ends.

She said unless I object, they'll give me a small dose of pitocin and then she'll come to check on me and break my water. What do you think about that?

Did I mention I'm nervous?? haha

Love,

alli

Cristy responded saying personally she'd wait until fully dilated to have her water broken because she perceives less risk of c-section that way. When I talked to her later, she said she hoped that her email hadn't scared me; she wished she had just said, basically, "trust your doctor," which is what I did. =)

I went to work at Overton after my doctor's appointment, but didn't see students. Instead I spent the day sending A LOT of emails and making phone calls to cancel my drop-in therapy session for the next morning. I visited the PPCD room and told Sarah, the PPCD teacher, about my appointment, and I also said goodbye to two of my first graders. I hadn't intended to do so, but one of the first grader's teachers stopped by my office and told me his father passed away over the weekend. I wanted to stop by and give him a hug and let him know I was going to have my baby the next morning, so I did. I filled out an SSI questionnaire for a student to potentially receive disability payments. I entered ARD paperwork for this week's ARDs and talked to Alia, the Sp.Ed. resource teacher, about a transfer student. I got two new students the week that I left that I never even met. I wonder how different my caseload will be when I return from maternity leave! Alia and Ms. Hart, the bilingual PPCD teacher, chatted with me about baby stuff and Sp.Ed. stuff, and they also gave me a few presents (clothes and some crocheted hats/blankets). We have gotten SO many handmade hats, shoes, and blankets. It's amazing! I left work around 4 o'clock that afternoon knowing I wouldn't be returning for nine weeks.

I was really nervous about the induction as I left Dr. Meritt's office, but as the day went on, I felt more at peace with it. It was a relief to no longer be playing the waiting game. I knew exactly when my maternity leave would start and had a full day to calmly prepare to really leave. I no longer had to run through hypothetical scenarios in my head (i.e., "if I go into labor on Tuesday or Thursday, call the drop-in student's mom to cancel, call the bus dispatcher to cancel pick-up, etc."). Henry and I had time to go back through our hospital bags, to reconsider what we were taking and organize them better. I was able to go into the hospital well rested and fed, two things that were really important to me. I'm glad things went the way they did. Looking back it's actually a little difficult to remember what I was so nervous about. I think it was letting go of my wish for things to happen naturally and the unknown of how I'd handle labor & delivery.

That night I showered and posted news of the induction on facebook: "Looks like tomorrow will be baby's birthday. I'm going to be induced in the morning! Prayers are appreciated." So many friends responded wishing us well and letting us know they were praying for a safe delivery. That meant so much to me. Feeling that love and support brought me to tears that night, and I'm actually tearing up now thinking about it.

I dried my hair, and then we drove the Baker kids to the church for mutual. I felt tired, and on the way I had some uncomfortable contractions that didn't last. I stopped by Activity Days once we got to the church and gave Hilary her thank you note. Reagan, one of the Primary kids, said my baby bump looked so big. haha. I hadn't stayed for Primary since the end of January, so I guess it'd been a while since she'd seen me. Henry and I went by Madam Mam's on the way home, and I ate chicken fried rice for my last pregnancy dinner. =) We spent the remainder of the evening in bed reading through the Childbirth Prep booklet we got from our class. We practiced the breathing and relaxation techniques together. I read a few more things in the Ina May's Guide to Childbirth book just as a review and to psych myself up. I'm so glad we practiced because we really hadn't before that night. Henry said afterwards that he'd recommend that all husbands go over that with their wives before the big day. Henry really surprised me with how great of a coach he turned out to be. He gave me a blessing of comfort, and then we went to bed.

We were supposed to get to the hospital by 6:30 the next morning, so we got up around 5:45. Even with all of our preparation the night before, we were still running late. I got dressed and put my hair up. I'm trying to remember if I put on any makeup that morning...haha. I think I just moisturized and put on some powder. Henry made me a flax waffle with apple butter on top, and then I drank part of a fruit smoothie. Henry was distracted, probably because of nerves, and I actually had to tell him it was time to leave for the hospital. Thankfully we live right around the corner, so even though we left our apartment at 6:30, we were still only about five minutes late.

We sat down in the registration waiting room for only a minute or two before a nice woman named Mary came to check us in. We presented our IDs and insurance cards and initialed away on consent forms. Mary commented that we seemed really calm, and I did feel calm. I wasn't thinking too much about what was about to happen.

Another hospital worker came and escorted us up to Labor and Delivery. Things were busy, busy at the nurses' station as they were about to change shifts. The nurse who took us back to our room said I looked familiar. I told her that we'd been there last Thursday/Friday with our false alarm. She said she thought she'd seen me at her child's school, and I told her I do work for the school district. At that point I was starting to get nervous though so I didn't continue that conversation.

We had an RN and an RN in training (or maybe just a new hire), Danette and Amber, tending to us in our L&D room. I loved Danette. She was an awesome nurse, which I'd guess is why she was training someone else. Things took a little longer than I expected to get started because she'd explain everything to Amber, but that was okay. Henry and I were just chilling in the room while they quietly talked to one another. We actually had time to look over the breastfeeding powerpoint notes before things got started, which I was really happy about. Henry got the music on my iPhone set up. Amber placed my IV on the first try, and they ran some sugar water (at least I think that's what it was). They also monitored baby's heart rate and my contractions for awhile. I was having fairly strong contractions on my own--some I felt, some I didn't--about 10 minutes apart. They checked me and I was still about 7 cm dilated.

A little before 8 AM they started the pitocin. I'm not sure what the numbers meant, but I think they told me they started at 2 with the pitocin. The contractions picked up, but were manageable to breathe through just with the deep inhale/exhale. Shortly thereafter, Dr. Meritt arrived to break my water, so it's hard to say how much of my labor contractions were due to the pitocin or if it was really the breaking of waters that did it. I guess that's neither here nor there. I expected it to hurt or at least be uncomfortable when she broke my water, but it didn't. I barely felt the puncture; I just felt lots of warm, gushing fluid afterward.

The nurses left the room, and the contractions picked up quickly both in intensity and frequency. I told Henry I didn't want to continue to lie on the hospital bed. My butt was getting sore, and I wanted to try some of the different laboring positions. I didn't end up moving around too much because the contractions were so strong. I got in the rocking chair and did much of my laboring sitting upright. I also tried to stand up with Henry's support, but I quickly returned to sitting because I didn't feel safe when the contractions came. Henry was right there close to me the whole time. I had my headphones in with my relaxation music playing (mostly Mormon Tabernacle Choir, Paul Cardall piano, Primary lullaby songs, and Enya) the whole time, but Henry would turn the volume down when I wasn't having a contraction so that I could hear him. They came about three minutes apart, and it took all of my focus to get through them without freaking out. Henry made sure I was looking him in the eyes, I held his hand tightly, my music was turned up loud, and we did the breathing hee-hee-hee-who's together. My lower back hurt with the contractions so he also massaged me there. Despite his superb coaching I still started to freak out a time or two. I think at some point the nurses came in and increased the pitocin to 4, but that's the highest it got. The contractions rushed over my entire body. It was really intense, but thankfully they did not last for more than a minute.

I started to think with each contraction that I wasn't sure how many more times I could stand to breathe through the pain, and I voiced this to Henry. The next time Danette came in he asked her about the possibility of an epidural, and she suggested she check my dilation. I got back on the bed when I wasn't having a contraction. She said I was fully dilated at that point, so I could start pushing with the contraction. I think I started feeling the urge to push while in the chair. It felt like really low pressure, like I needed to have a BM. Danette told me that it would feel much better to be able to push with each contraction and that could not have been more true. The contractions continued to be intense, but now I felt like I had a way to fight through them. I really have no idea how long I was in this transition/pushing stage or laboring for that matter; I just know I felt such relief to actually be able to do something. Danette called Dr. Meritt's office and told her she needed to come over to the hospital (her office is right across the street). A little while later she came into the room with the surgical tech person. It took a few tries to coordinate my breathing with the pushing, but I got it down and started pushing with all my might with each contraction. I imagined the top of my uterus pushing the baby farther down each time, and between contractions, I said positive affirmations like, "I can do this!
I am doing it!" I tried to keep telling myself positive things throughout the entire process, and I think it helped.

Pretty soon Dr. Meritt told me she could see Elle's head . She and the surgical tech were pouring on lots of olive oil, and Dr. M was supporting my perineum. It felt like she was stretching it out. With each push I let out a low, guttural sound.  I remember feeling the burning sensation when the baby was crowning, and I think that's when Dr. M told me to stop pushing. I was able to pause--I think Henry had me do candle blows--but somehow I ended up with a second degree tear anyway. I don't know when that happened, and the truth is, I don't really care. I would've done anything at that point to get Miss Elle out! And just moments later, I pushed and of course she did come out!

She was placed on my stomach immediately (sometime during the pushing stage, Henry did a great job of reminding the staff of my wishes for skin-to-skin contact and to let the cord pulsate before clamping). The umbilical cord was shorter than I expected, so she couldn't reach all the way up to my chest. Holding my daughter for the first time was amazing. She let out a good cry. She was a perfectly healthy, slippery little thing with her arms flailing around. I don't remember, but Henry said the first words from my mouth were, "She's beautiful!" Then I remember thinking, "Oh my gosh, she's a real baby!" Until I actually saw her it was difficult to imagine her as a real, living, breathing tiny human, but the moment I did, reality hit me. She was beautiful. Is beautiful. She will be forever and always. Henry and I are in love.

thankful

Four months since my last entry? Obviously I am not a "professional" blogger.

Most of the time this blog has to take a backseat to other more important things...such as focusing my energy on growing a baby and trying to stay afloat with my workload.

Yep! I'm pregnant. I'm 27 weeks already, which I can't believe. I finally have a pretty legit baby bump, and everything seems to be going very smoothly. Now that I'm not experiencing nausea or awful headaches, I don't feel like I have anything to complain about. In fact, I feel very blessed. We hoped and prayed for this child to join our family, so the thought of having her in our lives couldn't be any sweeter. I haven't been so happy in quite some time.

As for the second reason for my sparse posting, well, my job is my job. When you work in the schools, you cram a year's worth of work into nine months. It's a crazy business. Challenging and exhausting, that's for sure. Just yesterday I achieved something huge though: I caught up on ALL of my Medicaid billing. I don't think I'd been up to date on that since August 2010. It's a big deal to me to not have that looming over my head anymore. Here I am on Thanksgiving break, and I am actually relaxing and doing fun things!!! It's a good feeling.

I'm a Mormon

Have you seen the new videos on mormon.org?

I think they're great. They're professionally done, and I think they do a good job of breaking certain stereotypes. They show that members of the Church are individuals who come from all walks of life.

My favorite video (so far) is this one of Rochelle.

#1 She's a Texan.
#2 She has a schnauzer! I'm kind of obsessed. If you could see into my office right now, where I am currently typing, there is a miniature schnauzer calendar hanging on the wall in front of me. Owning one is high on my list of adult life goals.
#3 She talks about her kids with disabilities.
#4 I want her sunglasses.

My second favorite video is this one of Aaron and Emily.

#1 They seem like such fun people.
#2 They have amazing jobs.
#3 Their video just makes me happy.

So what would your video say?

P.S. Don't you think it'd be great if some of our favorite LDS bloggers (Design Mom, CJane, Rockstar Diaries) made videos? When I saw these I just imagined what theirs would be like--awesome.

Mama and me

Jenna of That Wife wrote a post yesterday about photographing mothers and their babies, and at the end she encouraged her readers to share a favorite picture including mother and child. I liked the idea, so I thought I'd share mine.

This is me and my mama on a beach in Maui, and I just love everything about it. I think I was about three years old when this was taken. I love the way we're holding hands, I love the beach and ocean, and I love that we're standing together in one of our most favorite places in the world.

Hopefully someday I'll be able to share some of my own favorite places with my children, and rest assured that when I do, it will all be well photographed.

What You're Doing Matters

I liked this. =)